The Big Lie

There have been statistics presented in meetings, and from the pulpit, of church kids that decide their parents' religion is not for them; and they are leaving the church in droves when they hit college. The big question is why? There have been several answers to this vital question. I have been a high school teacher for over 20 years. What I'm going to write about are conversations I have had with students and what my impressions are from those conversations. I even went so far as to do some research asking their families why they followed a particular religion while we were in a culture unit. World view believes that religion is cultural which gave a purpose doing this survey in a public school. Writing about religion and culture is a whole different blog post that I intend to write later, because that kind of thinking has been adopted into some churches as well.

As parents we read Proverbs 22:6 as a promise "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it." and when a child from a good family ends up worldly we explain it as everyone has a choice. That is not what this scripture says though. Brent Rinehart has an interesting article "What Does it Mean to Train up a Child in the Way He Should Go?" where he mentions that the word "should" is not supported in the original Hebrew, meaning if you let the child train himself he will continue in that pattern. Either way, the responsibility of the parent is there in training the child. The meaning that the child will not depart from the way he/she is trained whether it be God's ways or man's ways. What about the "good" family with the "bad" kid that departed from what the parents taught? Is this scripture wrong? Is it a lie?

I spoke with a fellow Christian teacher years ago and she said that one of her daughters decided to go her own way. As you can imagine this was hard for her to talk about. She said they did all the right things as parents, one daughter turned out great and one made some bad choices, "there is only so much anyone can do." To me this sounded like throwing a Hail-Mary and hoping the best for our kids. At the time I was a new parent and I understood that everyone eventually makes their own decisions, but this seemed like a way to make her feel better as a parent and not really get to what happened. Her situation sounded the same as a story that I have heard many times in my teaching career, the most recent with **Salscea.

Everything was fine in Salscea's family. At least her parents thought so. She was a member of the church choir, went to church every week, and was a member of the church youth group. The problem is that she does not believe what her parents believe. We are supposed to go to church for fellowship, but Salscea's mom and dad saw this as fulfilling their roles of training the child in the the way she should go. This is trying to have someone else spiritually raise their child. Salscea was not a Christian. When she leaves the home she will go the way she was trained.

Another student, **Doringo, said that when he asked his mom why she believed in God, she hit him and yelled, "You should not question!" Mom's faith was solid and unquestioning, but she wasn't answering his questions and so he went to his friends, TV, and the internet which all have a world view. Doringo learned that his mom thought her religion was sacred, but not her reasons why that was valid. Mom now thinks Doringo has the right mind-set because he doesn't ask any more questions.

Other students said their parents didn't think church was necessary because they could worship God anywhere, and others said they went to church but that was to make their parents happy. When I asked both groups what they thought about their parents' beliefs they said they didn't know. Their parents told them to be good, common sense tells a person right from wrong.

If kids are going to church and are "good" kids by not getting into trouble, but do not have Christ, they will suffer the wages of sin. Without Christ in their lives a child is being trained to live without Christ and when he is old will not depart from it. Parents, you are the number one influence in your child's life, how deep do you go in training your child in the most important relationship they could ever have?

The first part of the Shema found in Deuteronomy 6:4-8 tells us of the responsibility of the parent.

“Hear, O Israel:The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates."

I'm not wanting you to doubt your children or for this to be a slam fest if your kids are making/have made bad decisions. Ask forgiveness and move on. What are you going to do now? How will you show why you follow God? How do you know there is a God? Why do you think the Bible is God's Word? Why is evolution wrong? Is the Bible scientific? (Note, if you need material for a starting place look at Answers in Genesis you can search on any topic even questions for teens)

If your kids are adults how do you witness to them? If your kids are still at home find out what their questions are, it will help you grow too, and always go back to the Bible. The big questions you have asked about God, or are asking about God, ask your kids what they think. Depending on ages, bring up scripture or topics that are puzzling and give the kids a few days to come up with answers and have a family discussion. Let them see you reading your Bible, talk with them about what you are reading and ask for input.

Ask the hard questions about faith and let them ask too. If you don't have the answers right away, say good question and make a deal to get back to them on it, and then get back to them on it. This is daily, this is what you are looking at because it is as frontlets between your eyes, on your hand, and signs as you leave and enter your house. This is what you talk about every day as you sit in your house and when you go somewhere with them.

Know what is on their mind. Share your faith and your love for God. Pray for discernment and guidance. This is the way to teach diligently to your children.

God bless

**Names have been changed for those students mentioned in the blog post.