What makes a kid defiant to the point of being an idiot or hurting himself?
It comes down to a sense of control. If I ask any of my students why they did something stupid when they were told specifically not to, they respond with a shrug. Nothing changes with defiance, but having control over doing the wrong thing is the easy way out of a situation. It doesn't take much to fail.
Nothing changes with defiance, but having control over doing the wrong thing is the easy way out of a situation.
Unfortunately, the teenagers that show a lack of respect tend to stand out. As a public school teacher, I hate when I see or experience disrespect, it clings as an irritant to the inside of me. It can make an entire day spoiled. Identifying what put me into a sour mood has helped. I know that even if a student is unaware that he/she is showing a lack of respect, they need to be educated on proper behavior. Man's nature, after all, is to sin.
How much time do parents spend with their kids, especially when they hit high school? How much time are kids in school being taught by someone other than their parents, and in most cases a secular environment? Who is the main influence in these kids' lives? When asking my students how they learned right and wrong, most said by watching TV.
When my children were little we attended a church where on the trip home we had to discuss Sunday school and what was said during the service with them, to correct the things that were not supported biblically. This was church! We realized we needed to find a different church to help influence our children. Too often parents think that having their kids attend church groups is how those kids get their spiritual guidance and that their job is done.
We homeschooled, taking our kids out of 8 hours of secular influence, but we wanted to be aware of all the influences in our children's lives and make sure they were receiving biblical training. The primary influence on kids must be their parents. Praying for them is not enough! Continue to pray, that is the starting point for spiritual warfare. When children are in public school, even a Christian school, parents must talk with them each day about what they are learning.
Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it (Proverbs 22: 6).
This is too important to not address. If kids are not receiving righteous training then whatever they are getting is not from our heavenly father. It is not supportive of Christian beliefs and is in direct hostility toward God. This is a daily event. It doesn't matter when you talk, if you are driving your child to baseball practice, talk about what is being taught by friends, teachers, and what they are watching on their phones. This is your ice-breaker when spending time with your kids.
Make this a priority. If you are not spending time with your kids, then you need to start because you must be that godly influence. This is not something you subcontract out.
If you are not spending time with your kids, then you need to start because you must be that godly influence.
Pray for discernment, talk with your kids, and always direct them to God and his Word.
May God bless you.
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