A puppy is cute misbehaving when it is little, but you can't let those behaviors continue or you will have an obnoxious dog. Our children are worth way more than a dog.
I have been around parents that when their child says no to them they think it is cute. I have seen parents get frustrated when their child says no, but then give them what they wanted. I have heard testimony of "My child will forever regret ever using that word with me!" only to see parents giving in to their child so they wouldn't make a scene, because it is easier to give in than deal with the bad behavior.
Our sinful selves do not like authority, we want to be in charge. Kids have not learned how to be righteous, in fact they want to feed their sinful natures. A child can not be allowed to raise themselves. In situations where a parent has told their child what to do, and then the child is allowed to do things their own way is training unrighteous behavior. Humanity's default is sin and children left alone will sin. If you allow it as a parent, you are rewarding and encouraging sin in your child.
If a child sneaks around and does something when you told them to wait, this should have consequences, even if you think what they did wasn't a big deal. Parents, put yourself in the following situation. A child has a new drum that they love, but you have company over. Your child keeps begging to play it, but you told her to wait until the company has left. The child sneaks off and goes to play the drum. The child should be made to hand over the drum and not able to play with it at all. Otherwise the child is taught that if she pushes it, sinful behavior wins. You have taught her sinful behavior wins.
If you are finding yourself hiding things, putting them out of reach, or avoiding certain words to evade a temper tantrum, the child is being raised incorrectly. You as the parent are responsible to raise a righteous child. Sometimes parents change what they are doing because they are worried about how their child may act. I go into this in more detail in my blog post "Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child? Child Abuse!!" We are born with sin, the child's default will be to sin. The parent's job is to teach the child to obey authority. They then can submit to God and then they want to have righteous behavior.
If you feel overwhelmed or think, "my kid is just too rambunctious" or "my kid has no self control," and believe there is nothing you can do. . . you are wrong. After prayer the first step is to find help in biblical counsel. The Bible has all the answers to sin. Christians help Christians with the Holy Spirit's leading. Romans 12:4-5 tells us that we are all different parts of the body with different functions, and it is OK to need help from the body. God designed us to need help from each other.
The sinful habits that are learned need to be unlearned and replaced with righteous habits. Sin is the problem and Christ has already paid that price.
Ephesians 4:22-24 states "to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness." As adults we struggle with this and our kids are born with sin.
Our children will learn from what we teach them.
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