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Writer's pictureKelly Neumann

Who Really Trains Your Children?

Updated: Nov 30, 2020

Over the 20+ years as a public school teacher I have come across many student centered self-esteem teachings. If you are a parent and your child is in public school, in some way they are being exposed to this type of teaching. The pictures in this blog come from different places in schools I have taught in. Schools teach kids to focus on themselves, and with their inner self-worth achieve what they want in life.

When asked what the greatest commandment was Jesus answered as it is recorded in Mark 12: 30-31 "'And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.'” Many a church goer has interpreted this as some kind of variation of making a new commandment, "Well, I must know how to love myself if I am going to love others."


This is not what scripture teaches, in fact this scripture is implying that you already love yourself. We are to humble ourselves, not love ourselves. The fact that we are ready to improve our self-esteem or go see a counselor for our depression tells us that we focus on self.

This teaching is not limited to school. There is a "Gospel of Self-Esteem and Psychology" that is based on this same principle and taught by leaders of the church. This kind of thinking comes from wanting to be accepted by the world and is not biblical. Psychology is man's way of explaining bad behavior without there being God. There is no absolute right or wrong, there is only what is right or wrong for the individual.


The book of Judges ends with the phrase "Everyone did what was right in his own eyes." Right and wrong do not have absolutes, but change in meaning to each person differently. I was in a middle school class once where the guest speaker was bringing up a famous transgender as a role model for the students. I was stunned. Any behavior a student wanted to do was seen as right, and the only way to be wrong was if you disagreed with the ideals presented.


Parents should want their children to honor God and feel that they have worth because they are following the one that is worthy and reflecting God in their lives.


Schools influence children for around 7 hours a day for 12 years during the most impressionable ages of their lives.


Proverbs 22: 6 "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."


The most important thing a parent can do is train up a child the way he should go. If your kids spend so much time with role models at school that are non-Christians, and in many cases anti-Christian, who is training them? How much time is spent on TV? How much time on some type of social media?


Deuteronomy 6: 5-7 "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." The words that are to be taught diligently to your children are God's commandments.


As parents we must talk with our kids daily. When they are under another's authority at school, church, some kind of extracurricular activity, or even hanging out with friends we need to find out what was talked about. What kind of training they are receiving? Nosey? It is biblical. Although how a parent goes about talking with their children also teaches them, so make sure you are acting out of love for your child and not because you are nosey or a gossip.


Bottom line? Parents should be praying for discernment and reading their bibles. Parents should also be talking to their children about what they are reading in their bibles. Find out what is important to their children and talk with them about it. Explain why God is important to the parent.


How often do you the parent battle the world's influence in training your children?


Parents should be talking about God's ways to their children when they sit in their houses, and as they live through their days from morning to night.


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